Dear Abby: My Fiancé Brought Home a Puppy I Never Agreed To — Now He Wants to Give It Away

A New Challenge in the Relationship

When it comes to making life decisions, especially those involving pets, communication is key. For one couple, the decision to get a dog turned into a major challenge that tested their relationship and ability to manage responsibilities.

The couple had discussed getting a dog before, but the fiancée was hesitant due to her busy schedule. She works full-time, takes on part-time jobs, and manages all the household chores. While her fiancé was eager for a dog, she felt it would add more stress than she could handle. Despite this, she agreed to go look at dogs, though only as a way to explore the idea.

Upon arriving at the location, she made it clear that they weren’t ready for a dog. However, her fiancé insisted, and despite her objections, he placed money on the counter. This led to them bringing home a puppy named Butch. Now, both are struggling with the added responsibility of caring for the dog.

Butch is a sweet and loving pup, and the couple adores him. However, the reality of having a dog has proven to be overwhelming. The fiancé is back in school and working, which means he can’t always take Butch out for walks and exercise, something the active breed requires. While he does his best, some days are stressful for both of them.

The fiancée feels resentful about the situation. They’re both overloaded with responsibilities, and now they have another full-time commitment along with extra expenses. Although they love Butch and treat him well, they feel trapped by the situation. Her fiancé suggests giving him away, but she wouldn’t be able to bear the thought of him being with someone else.

They’ve tried daycare and walking services, which helped, but they can no longer afford these options. The question now is: what should they do?

Advice from Dear Abby

Dear Abby addressed the issue, asking why the couple thinks another family wouldn’t appreciate Butch. If the dog is sensitive, housebroken, and has been taught basic manners, he might find a new home where he’s loved just as much. She suggested contacting local pet rescue groups and explaining their situation. It’s possible they might be surprised by the support they receive.

She also advised the fiancée to stand her ground next time her partner tries to make a decision without her input. If he pulls out money when she clearly doesn’t want something, she should tell him to put it back.

A Question About Neighbors

Another letter came from a reader who wondered about the appropriate time to pick up newspapers that were piling up outside their neighbors’ home. The neighbor had been away for several weeks, and the reader didn’t know them well enough to ask for help.

Dear Abby responded that newspapers left outside a house are an invitation to others. She suggested that instead of throwing them away, the reader should pick them up and save them for the neighbors. It would be kinder than disposing of them, even if they don’t know the neighbors personally.

Final Thoughts

Decisions about pets require careful consideration and mutual agreement. In this case, the couple’s differing perspectives on the dog created tension and stress. Communication and compromise are essential in such situations.

If the couple decides to give Butch up, they should ensure he finds a loving home. If they choose to keep him, they need to find ways to manage the additional responsibilities. Either way, the experience highlights the importance of discussing major life changes before making them.